Nobody entered the spirit of our annual Vicars and Tarts party more than the actual vicar himself, the only true man of the cloth at the salubrious event amidst a rather select gathering of fully fledged and artfully practising tarts of the realm.
Credit where credit's due though, he never failed to utter For what we are about to receive may the Lord make us truly thankful at the appropriate moments and certainly did the Christian thing by turning the other cheek after repeated slaps on the rump from several playful members of the strumpet fraternity.
The good Reverend joined the fun without crossing the line and having righteously girded his loins somehow remained chaste despited being chased but, as we all know, the steadfastly unobtainable often proves wholly irrestistible.
The obliging ladies of the night were obviously deeply smitten with my reverend friend and became increasingly frantic with desire as the evening wore on while his upstanding self-denial valiantly withstood their every passionate assault.
They were finally left with no other option than to vent their seething desire upon one with rather looser morals and weaker defences, one who gladly came several times to their assistance and is renowned as never having failed a debauched damsel in distress...lucky i was there, isn't it?
© Sean Barrett - June 2011