I'd never be able to look myself in the eye again if i didn't select the wonderful Nicola Wheeler in my Top 3 Soap Babes, a lofty position richly deserved for her role as Emmerdale's scheming and spiky-natured minx, Nicola Blackstock.
Should the mood take her, she can appear almost as demure and fluffy as the next girl but when you play with Nicola, you're not only playing with fire but also inviting a venomous rattlesnake between the silk sheets.
Some of us would just love to be bitten by her.
Inadvertently say the wrong thing to the divine Nicola and she'll snap and savage you beyond repair but this is when we her most because we don't ever want to see Nicola tamed, her steeliness and spite make her what she is, one of Soapland's most desirable ladies.
I suspect that the passing of years will have not the slightest effect upon her seductive powers for the magnetic attraction of Nicola Blackstock comes from deep within her permafrost soul and is very unlikely to be weakened by the usual ravages of time so afeared by the rest of us.
Ardent admirers awake sweating in the dead of night with delicious visions of Nicola's cruel sneer, icy efficiency and a crisp, tight blouse forever verging on bursting point...i can personally assure you of that.
What a selfish, self-centred cow
She wants it all and she wants it now,
And if she's thwarted
She throws a strop,
But how i'd love life with her on top.
Wicked woman, my Cruella DeVille
Such seductive icy sex-appeal,
Let other girls be soft and sweet
Your moods and tantrums
Inflame my heat.
Nicola Blackstock so mean and cruel
For your affections i'd face a duel,
You're cold and heartless
But my jeans are all aflame for you.
© Sean Barrett